The Schroder Family

I am really slacking this year on posts (well last year I guess). A lot has happened in the last 3 months, some good and some not so good.

Brett is home now as you all know. He returned home very sick, along with many others from Norovirus(click Norovirus if you want to know what it is). I believe he was one in over five hundred that were struck down with this. We had to pick him up at the hospital because he was so dehydrated and had passed out on the plane ride home. He slept for almost the first 24 hours he was home. We didn’t get the reunion we were expecting, but at least he is home. After about a week he was feeling better, which was just in time for my outpatient surgery.



My outpatient surgery was for a mass in my left lower abdomen that had been causing me discomfort for a few years. The surgery did not go as planned by any means. I am not sure how they did not notice the extreme inflation on my left side which looked like I had a cantaloupe underneath my skin. I woke up crying and in pain. Pain meds weren’t helping. Nurses kept giving me more and more pain meds in my IV, but were not concerned with my freakish expansion on my left side. It started feeling like when I would cry that my abdomen was inflating like a balloon, very disturbing to say the least. My roommate got the nurse AND a doctor (FINALLY a doctor!!!). Doctor said I needed to go back into surgery. He left for a minute and came back and said the O.R. was full and that he was going to take me to the E.R., give me a local anesthetic, and try and stop the bleeding. My options were to look up at the reflective panel while doc was doing his thing, stare at the nurses who were holding my hands and brushing my hair back trying to keep me awake, or to stare at the monitor and watch my heart rate and blood pressure. I chose option C. I watched my BP get down to 40/36 and my pulse drop to 36 bpm. As scary as it was, it gave me something to focus on to stay awake (at the time, I was hoping and praying at this point that I would stay awake). Unfortunately doc had no luck fixing it in the E.R., he went to check the O.R. and came back and rushed me into the O.R. where I was put under to be cut open for a third time in a couple hours (I think). This time I woke up in much less pain, but had four more nights in the hospital totaling 5 days, a nasty purple and blue bruise that was 13″ X 5″ (I thought about photographing it, but the size and colors were quite disturbing, LOL), along with two weeks bed rest ahead of me. All because of a nicked vein. Maybe they should not have given me the blood thinner before surgery. Hmm, just a thought. Something for me to remember in the future.



The kids are doing well. They enjoyed Christmas and New Years Eve. We had a quiet Christmas at home with gifts and dinner later in the day. New Years we had some friends and their families over to celebrate with food, games, and fireworks. The kids all played well together and we had quite a full house, children out numbered the adults I am sure.



Brett and I have two new nephews, Carter Mason born on Christmas day to my sister Sarah and brother in law Josh, and Trevor James born on January 4th to my brother Josh and sister in law Amy. Also, speaking of babies, on January 14th Brett and I found out we are expecting! My estimated due date is September 23, 2012. Here is a video I put together for you all to view.

Click on this image to see the video.

We will not be moving back to the states as we were expecting to, so we will be here another 2 years. It was quite the blow, was not what we expected to happen at all. I have shed my tears about it and I am sure there will be more, especially on the bad days. Not much else I can do but suck it up and keep busy. They said that they have confirmed the needed services are available within the Spangdahlem AFB locale. Which is a bunch of baloney. I have an appointment with my doctor next week. I am sure he will be very surprised that it was rejected. He used to run the program in Turkey and said that there was pretty much 100% approval. So I think now our focus is going to be on traveling as much as we possibly can, and hope that another deployment will not happen in the next in 16 months or so. If a deployment comes up and he has an upcoming PCS (move to new base) during the time the deployment would be, he won’t go on the deployment. Not going to hold my breath on that though, I am sure we can expect at least one more deployment in our next 21 months here.

Brett is due back very soon!!! That outweighs all the negative right now. I can’t give out dates (not that I have an exact date yet) but if you know when my birthday is, then you can figure he will be home right around 6 weeks before my birthday!! You won’t know when he is going to be home, until he is already home. We will let you all know, one way or another. I was talking to my photographer friend and if she is available she is going to photograph his homecoming!! She does excellent photos. She did the photos in the photo books I sent to grandparents. If you haven’t seen them yet, click on photo of Colvin and Cailey to the right. I really hope she can do our photos for Brett’s return.

In my last post I showed you a photo of a bracelet I made. I have made a few more since then. I changed them a bit, and they are now much better. I have figured that I can also make key chains with these name tapes as well. I have brought this forward to MOMS Club and to other wives within the squadron. I hesitated with the squadron because there are so many spouses. So right now I do have some orders (few ladies I don’t even know), gotta love Facebook for that. Right now the amount I have to make is manageable. I have 18 of the 24 bracelets and key chains remaining and have received payment for the 6 I have completed. Clicking on the photo to the left will show you the ones I have made so far.

I have also recently uploaded a bunch of photos, so check them out. My next post probably will not be until after Brett is back home.

That’s the best I could come up with for a title, sorry. Haha. It’s about how I feel at the moment. So ready for all of this to end already. Ready for Brett to be home and ready to find out where we are going next. I am feeling beat down physically, probably because I am beat down emotionally and exhausted. It would be wonderful if everything would just go smoothly. But with kids, even under normal circumstances, that isn’t going to happen unless you take them to grandma or grandpa, or an aunt and uncle while you do the things you need to or want to do. I would love to go get my hair done and maybe go with a friend to the spa for a couple hours. I am stretched thin, not physically haha, I am working on that too.

Brett has been deployed for thirty three days now. He got to work immediately upon arriving there. Had one day off a couple days later and has only recently gotten his second day off a few days ago. He has been working at least twelve hour days, maybe longer on some days. So he has been really worn down. He is the NCOIC, which is Non Commissioned Officer in Charge for the night shift. I told this to a friend of his who he worked with, and he said that Brett is the best man for the job. It made me feel proud to hear that about him. I am glad that the base he is at is closing down because it means he may come home early (he says he may be home a month before my birthday!) but it also stinks for him too because a lot of the services are either gone or about to be soon. The post office closed there a few days after he arrived there so I sent out one large package to him. I figure I would rather send too much than not enough, besides there are plenty of people he can share with there. The chow hall may have already, if not it is soon. Internet in a lot of locations is gone. He found an area the other day that still has internet, which I hope it remains a little while longer so we can still Skype on occasion or at least emails.

Cailey has just been pushing every button she can. She has started to really rebel since Brett deployed. She misses him and is acting out because he is not here. We have gone two steps back with her being potty trained. I broke down earlier this week and bought pull-ups after I had to change her sheets 6 times in 2 days over the weekend. Even in early stages of potty training she was always dry when she woke. Now she won’t even be asleep when she does it (most of the time). I refuse to let her wear them during the day, only while in bed. I make her go before bed at night, and the other night 5 minutes after I shut her door she walks out to me to tell me she peed the bed. She had not even gone to sleep yet and was wearing a pull-up!! She has also been having accidents once or twice during the day as well. She was past that stage way before Brett left and now it has started all over again. She has been more aggressive and destructive. In a 90 minute window Cailey managed to paint her toes and their nails (luckily for me that was it), after cleaning that up I find that she has spilled out contents of her bean bag chair in my office, I was not even done cleaning up the bean bag chair when she had an accident and got it on the floor (and it wasn’t just pee). At that point I put her in the shower to play and stay out of trouble while I finished cleaning messes. After shower I put her to bed and then found another mess she snuck in there with flashcards. Haha, that is just a taste from less than a whole day of the little storms she brews up. I don’t think I need to go into tantrums. I will say she is two and they are now magnified times two of Cailey proportions. That is all I will say about that, LOL.

Colvin has been more easily frustrated. Well he has always been easily frustrated about little things that really shouldn’t be a big deal. But now it is more exaggerated. I received a phone call from the school nurse a couple weeks ago because Colvin had hurt his hand while getting ready to leave for the day. She said he stabbed himself in the hand with his pencil. He got mad when his folder would not go into his backpack as he expected it to. His hand is finally about healed up. Not sure what came over him, he has never done anything like that before. Luckily he hasn’t since either. Oh, and he also broke our kitchen cabinet door by swinging on it after being told multiple times of course not to do that. I think, more like I hope I have it fixed because they were new when we moved in two years ago. I guess time will tell. On a more positive note, he is doing well in school. I have not talked with his teacher in almost two weeks to know if there is any improvement in controlling his emotions in class. The only other thing that was an issue was that he has difficulty getting started on tasks but he seemed to be doing better. He has also been having spelling tests and so far both spelling tests he has taken he has gotten them all right! The photo next to this paragraph is a copy of his two spelling tests so far.

Even though they have been difficult little people lately, they do have their sweet sides. Looking at this photo makes one wonder how I could possibly say that they are anything but sweet. If only days like these happened more frequently, it would make things a bit easier around here.

Well I have not been at my highest point lately. The other day I was having a really bad day. Feeling sad and angry all at once, nothing was going right. I was actually going to make a call home but couldn’t and I lost it. Two of our three phones are able to call back to the states, and wouldn’t you know it all the phones for both were dead. Our German house phone has the battery life of about twelve hours. So basically if I don’t have it on the charger all day or during the night it will be dead when I need it. The other phone has two cordless phones and one of them had been shoved behind my monitor by a certain toddler residing in this house, and the other was taken off the charger beside the TV, actually the charger itself was missing, the phone was lying on the floor behind the TV stand it sits on, dead. This is when I lost my cool and had to just go to my room and let it out alone. Of course Cailey couldn’t let me do that. She kept opening my door and either laughing or demanding juice. She WOULD NOT leave me be for a few minutes. I finally sat on my floor to block my door so I could have a moment to cool down. She was really angering me at this point and I needed to cool off before seeing her.

Of course it’s not like this every day. I have occupied some of my free time with my sewing machine. I still have a couple more projects I want to do as well. Here is a few of the things I have whipped up in the last couple weeks. The bracelet on Cailey’s wrist was from this afternoon.

The bracelet I made is a bit small since it is for Cailey. She loves it and has not taken it off since I put it on her almost 12 hours ago which is saying a lot for her. I plan on making myself one as soon as the stuff I ordered gets here. (reason 136 on why I am ready to leave Germany)Tomorrow I am making Colvin one with velcro closure on it. If anyone is interested in one leave me a comment on this post. For now, I can make either Schroder or US Air Force. I know that I can custom order the embroidery on them, I just need to find where. I have some charms coming in the mail to add to them, which is why I am holding off on making mine. Once I make mine I will post pictures of mine and Colvin’s.

True love. <3

Click on this image to see the video.

Some of you already know, some don’t, but I have been seeing a therapist for almost two years now. I have been really down and irritable this past month and have been having difficulty dealing with everything. Of course, I have been through all this before. The other day, for the second time over the last year and a half, my therapist suggested that Brett go to the EFMP office( Exceptional Family Member Program) on base.



It’s a mandatory enrollment program that works with other military agencies to provide comprehensive and coordinated community support, educational, and medical services to families with special needs. Soldiers on active duty enroll in the program when they have a family member with a physical, emotional, developmental, or intellectual disorder requiring specialized services so their needs can be considered in the military personnel assignment process.



I don’t see myself as having “special needs”, but that is how the Air Force will now label me because of my diagnosis. Major Depressive Disorder (recurring) with abandonment issues. My therapist used to run the program when he was in Turkey. He says that it has 100% approval, unless you are just making stuff up to try and get to another base. What would happen is that we would be moved back to the states where there is a base with Brett’s job and where there are more resources for me as far as counseling, social networks, and peace of mind. By no means would moving back to the states make everything better, I will still have my bad days, and things will still be hard when Brett is away, but it won’t be AS hard. Having family closer for support, if need be, will be much easier. Hopping a flight or jumping in the car would be much easier and less stressful. He says the process usually takes 3-4 months to get a new assignment. My therapist was not sure that they would bring him out of deployment early for that reason, but apparently they will bring him home as soon as orders arrive to help prepare for the move. So we may be home before the beginning of the next year, not sure yet.



It’s a crappy reason to be sent back and I feel extremely guilty for it. Sick to my stomach, actually. Dr. Tabije says that I should not feel guilty for it, that it’s not something that I can help, that’s why they have the program. I just feel like others are be full of opinions and judgements. Afterall, they are going thru it too. I worry that I will lose friendships over this. What are people going to say? Assumptions that I am only doing this to get Brett out of another deployment. As I suspected, dreaded, and knew would happen, there is already one person who thinks this is a deployment thing. He suggested that I just go out and get a job, or just getting out of the house will make everything better. Or if I became part of a group things will get better. After all, it worked for his wife, she has her own life now. This is from the one person that came to visit me while I was hospitalized, he’s a nice guy and I never expected those remarks from him. I am just glad Brett backed me up.



Do they think I like feeling like this?! I have had many nights where I have cried myself to sleep. I don’t just sit home and mope all day, everyday. I can’t help it, I hate it. I feel like a burden. I often wonder what the h*ll is wrong with me! I am not suicidal by any means. I could NEVER leave my kids or husband. One of my biggest fears actually is something happening to me while Brett is gone. How long will it take for someone to realize that I am in trouble, how long will my kids be uncared for, how would that traumatize them? Stuff that happens as a child can have a lasting effect in the future. One event, from 20 years ago, has a large impact on me still.



I have been dealing with this depression since high school, or at least that is when I first saw it in myself and became aware of it. I met my breaking point over here after my ectopic pregnancy and have been in counseling ever since, going on two years now. I have had jobs in the past and I am part of a group, as a matter of fact I am the Vice President of the MOMS Club over here. I have met some great ladies, a couple have become good friends. We have events and outings on the calendar at least 5 days a week. I don’t go to every event, but we get out to at least 3 events a week. It doesn’t just make everything better like some think. It’s the isolation, though I have periods of time when my spirits are up, I seem to always spiral back down, some times harder than others. Which is why Dr. Tabije thinks that we need to move back to where there are more resources for me as far as counseling, social networks, and peace of mind.



I don’t know what to expect next, which is stressing me out. I am not sure how much time we will have between Brett getting orders and the actual move. I had hoped that we would have the opportunity to visit other places while here, like London, Paris, Rome, and Ireland. Brett just seems to be gone frequently since getting here. Maybe someday we will have the ability to do so. For that reason, I wish we had a bit more time here.

He is not deployed yet, for security reasons I will let you know that information once he is in the air. However, I do have his mailing address that he will have once he is there. In addition to his address I have a list of items that can be sent in care packages, I know I will be referencing this list when it comes time to send a package. LOL Their chow hall will be closing down on 1 November and he will have to eat MRE’s, which I can only imagine that those aren’t any good.

Mailing Address

Brett Schroder (DO NOT USE RANK)
727 EACS DET 1/SCMR
APO, AE 09315

Care package ideas

• Protein Bars, power bars, nutritional bars
• Fruit: single serving size cans
• Instant oatmeal
• Honey roasted cashews, peanuts, trail mix, dried fruit
• Beef jerky, beef summer sausage (non-perishable; labeled USDA Beef)
• Single-serving bags of snacks, crackers
• Pop Tarts, cereal bars, granola bars
• Ramen Noodles, Cup-O-Noodles serving cups, Easy Mac®, Chow Mein Noodles
• Soups and other canned ready-to-eat meals (single serving) with pop-top
• Chicken or Tuna lunch kits (includes foil pouch of tuna,crackers, and condiments in each single-serving kit)
• Seasoning salts, flavoring salts (small packets)
• Popcorn (he likes the salt and pepper kind)
• Hard Candy (single wrapped)
• Cookies (homemade are yummy but unless packed in an airtight container they don’t always travel well, store bought will last longer)
• NO BAGGED chips!! They will not make the transition, ship in airtight container.
• Instant Coffee packets
• Hot cocoa mix packets
• Lemonade mix, Kool-Aid® mix
• Sugar and creamer packets for coffee (No artificial sweetener)
• Lip balm (Chapstick) is in high demand in desert areas.
• Eyedrops are to relieve dry eyes; AVOID eyedrops designed to remove redness (like Visine) as those will increase dryness and irritation caused by sand and storms in a desert climate.
• Sunblock (travel size or stick, SPF 30+)
• Throat Lozenges & Vitamin C Lozenges
• Aspirin, Motrin (Ibuprophen), Tylenol (Acetaminophen),Pain Relievers (small containers)
• Saline spray/drops for sensitive nasal passages
• Travel size packages of Q-tips
• Body wipes for personal hygiene (alcohol-free)
• Liquid hand sanitizers(no pump-style dispensers)
• Disposable hand sanitizing wipes
• 4-roll size Toilet Paper
• Shampoo (upon his request)
• Deodorant (upon his request)
• Liquid bodywash soap, liquid anti-bacterial soap (no bar soap or pump-style dispensers)
• Lotion, unscented, for dry skin (no pump-style dispensers)
• Kleenex (travel-size packets)

Well, once again it’s been a long time between posts. Sorry. Alot going on lately. Unfortunately part of the alot going on has not included any of the travel we had hoped to do over here. We will try that again after the deployment. We did manage to make it home for a visit, it was Brett’s first trip back home in two years. We wish it could have been longer. We are getting closer to the deployment now, really not looking forward to it at all. Hoping this will be the last one while we are over here, but I won’t hold my breath. We have two more years over here. Brett has been considering getting out after his contract is up in two years. He has some time to really be sure about it though. I am really looking forward to the day he does get out. No more deployments. I would rather have him home than the little bit extra in his paycheck every two weeks. It will be nice to be able to settle and buy a home for our family too.



When we returned home I had a cough that gradually improved, but then all of a sudden got worse with a fever and extreme fatigue. When I went to the doctor I got less than ideal care and compassion and was sent home with an inhaler and told to return if it got worse. It had gotten worse which is why I went in the first place. I didn’t even get to see a doctor. So I went to the ER the next morning and was sent home with three prescriptions, one of which was antibiotics. I was borderline pneumonia.



Colvin also ended up sick again after we returned. His was, once again, fever and fatigue. He didn’t even want to play video games. I took him to the doctor because he has been sick alot this year usually only with fever, fatigue, and occasional upset stomach. Never complains of sore throat or ear aches. He used to only get sick once a year or so. So the doctor ran a bunch of tests and everything but his urine came back normal. They found blood in his urine, had him retest a week later, and there was still blood but also an infection. We are taking him to the military hospital on Wednesday to see a urology specialist. They want to test his kidney function. So hopefully all turns out well with that, we have no idea what to expect on Wednesday.



Cailey is doing well. Since returning from the states I have gotten her potty trained. She will now tell me when she needs to go, I will ask her on occasion as a reminder to avoid accidents while she is playing. I have her signed up for a part day enrichment class at the daycare on base. Not sure when she will start. The class is full right now but she is 7th on the list.



I joined a group in March called MOMS Club (<--click for info about it) on the base which offers alot of support and friendship that I was lacking over here during the last deployment. We always have something going on during the week and sometimes weekends too, so that will keep me from sitting at home and depressed the whole time, I hope. I was actually elected as the VP for our chapter, never felt inspired to do anything like that before. It is such a great group which is why I ran for the VP position. So anyway, this week we started a facebook page offering up our skills and services. I have had people compliment on the pillows I made for the kids and said I should make them and sell them to others. So... that's what I did this afternoon. I hope I didn't bite off more than I can chew, ha-ha. Right now I have four orders totaling seven pillows, so that is not too bad, for now. Another activity to keep my mind occupied. With everything going on with the deployment, Colvin being sick, me being sick, potty training, and just ready to be out of Germany; I have been struggling. I have started feeling better physically, emotionally will take awhile, but I will get there.



Oh, and I am contemplating coming back at Christmas time. I won’t know until the time gets closer though.



I have alot of photos that I need to upload, I will hopefully get to that tomorrow, so check back.

I am not even sure how to put to words what I am thinking and what I am feeling. Anger and mostly sadness are the closest words to describe it. 2010 brought a three month TDY, Airman Leadership School, and a six month deployment which he just returned from the end of January. We found out yesterday that he is going on another six month deployment less than a year from his return of this last deployment. He’s been gone more than half the time we have been stationed here. We were hoping for a great year since our time here has not been the most joyous, but now another deployment is looming over us again.

Brett is back! He has taken additional leave on top of the leave he was given from his deployment, so we have gotten more time to spend with him before he returns to work. He has only had to go in twice since being home but he will be going back to work on March 1st.

Cailey has had her birthday and is now a two year old. It was just the four of us this year for her birthday. I was not feeling up to the pressure of a party with multiple guests. I made her a cake in the shape of a flower with Tinkerbell sitting in the center. She was happy which is all that mattered. She is now in a big girl bed. She spotted it while we were looking at toy boxes on Amazon. It is a Tinkerbell toddler bed with a canopy over the top with matching bedding, she said it’s pretty, she loves it. She does ok sleeping in it at night; the difficult part is getting her to stay in it during naptime.
Colvin’s behavior has improved since Brett’s return. He seems happier too, which is good. Unfortunately though he has had a bit of a struggle with staying focused. I had a meeting with his teacher and counselor because it is affecting his school work. Brett and I filled out some paperwork on our observations at home and they are doing some testing at school. They are unable to diagnose anything because they are not doctors, so our home observations and testing at school are being compiled for his pediatrician to determine if he may have ADD. If the doctor believes that he does have it, it doesn’t necessarily mean he has to be on medication for it, but it does allow the school to make accommodations in getting him assistance. Before anyone starts getting judgmental about the situation against the school or myself keep in mind that there have now been 3 teachers who have had difficulty keeping him focused on his school work. I noticed first hand during the time I home-schooled him. Also Brett and I notice it at home while helping him with homework and other tasks he is supposed to be doing. Both Brett and I have talked about it and both of us were the same way when we were in school. When I was in school and having the same issues they called it daydreaming. So if we can get him assistance to make him more successful in his education we are going to do whatever it takes. In addition to all of that we also have to take him to an optometrist because part of the schools evaluation is a vision exam and the exam determined that his far and near vision in his left eye is significantly different than in his right eye. The nurse thinks it may be an astigmatism. So he may be wearing glasses next time we come for a visit.

Nothing new going on with me. Try to keep myself busy. I have made Cailey a nightgown and another tutu. I’ve mostly just been wishing we were back in the states again. Do some traveling here and go back to the states. It’d be nice to have family on the same continent again. It would be nice to be able to look at and check out something we want to buy instead of ordering it online and hoping that it is what we expected it to be. It would be nice to not have to wait two to six weeks to receive items we have purchased online because it’s not available over here. Going out to dinner or shopping would not be limited because of our language. I do like it here mostly. Most people I encounter are nice; a few are not so nice. But I am an American and am ready to be back in America, over here I often feel like a visitor if I go anywhere other than the base.

We are finally getting to do some traveling, we are taking a day tour in Amsterdam on March 12! The Information Tickets & Travel office on base has recurring trips that are mostly small weekend trips that we are hoping to go on at least one a month. We just need to decide on where and when. So watch for photos!

Oh, I have added photos for 2011 and a videos page as well, so feel free to watch some of the home videos I have uploaded.

Happy Birthday Cailey!!

Click on this image for a video.

I had planned on having this video up yesterday (19 Feb) for her birthday but had some issues, but here it is now.

Well we are home again and an update is way overdue. It’s been since October since I posted last. We made it back to Germany on November 18th and home on the 19th. We started out driving 4 hours from Morris to Scott AFB, stayed 2 nights in lodging at Scott AFB then flew to Andrew’s AFB. We sat in the Andrew’s AFB terminal for 5 hours after landing from Scott, and got a 9 hour flight back to Germany and stayed one night and we were picked up the next morning. Only took 5 days to be able to walk through my front door. I guess that is considered pretty good for flying Space A (so I have been told), but I don’t plan on doing that ever again without Brett with me or until the kids are older (like 7 & 12 years old at least, lol).

We kept pretty busy while being back in Illinois. We had bridal showers for Sarah and then there was her wedding too! Josh and Sarah’s wedding was very beautiful! I am very glad I was able to be there for it.

Cailey went to her first cornfest in September and Colvin had a blast at the carnival with his Aunt Kylee. And of course we all enjoyed all the junk food that is part of it!

We also had a week long trip to San Antonio to visit friends. We went to Sea World while we were there; it was a pretty cool experience! It was nice to see my friend Suzanne and seeing Colvin and Hannah together again!

Halloween was fun; it was the first year where Cailey was able to go collect candy. For about a month following halloween Cailey constantly wanted candy. For halloween Colvin and Aiden went trick or treating together as Mario and Luigi, and Riley was the ghost from the Super Mario games.

The kids, my brother Tony and I all went to Tennessee to visit family. My brother Tony was my co-pilot thankfully. It’s a long 8 hour drive if you are the only one driving, not to mention having 2 kids in the backseat as your only people to talk to (or in my case, get onto to quit yelling and hitting each other) so I am glad he was my company. I was able to visit with mom, Kaite, and Tony and Colvin and Lilly had a blast together. Also while we were there we went to a family reunion. It was nice to be able to visit with some of our cousins while there. Too bad more of them were not there.

Then of course there was the vast variety of restaurants that my waistline is thankful that we don’t have here. I was doing my workout while there for about 6 weeks, but felt I was not getting anywhere so I took a break to avoid constant disappointment. So I came back home 6 pounds more than I was when I left, thankfully that was all it was.

So my workout routine has picked back up (5 days a week) and I am down 2 pounds since starting 2 weeks ago. Too much time lapsed from my workouts so each time I start back up it has been difficult. I worked out for 4 months earlier in the year and lost 21 pounds then didn’t work out again till I was back in the states. Sadly that was only for about 6 weeks out of the 4 months I was there. It is kicking my butt and I am definitely feeling it when I finish, well more like during the workout LOL. Amazingly I haven’t skipped a day since I started. I am hoping I have as much success with weight loss as I did earlier this year!

Colvin has started back in school again. Now that he is back in his daily routine things are a little better with his attitude and actions. Not that everyday has been glorious, we have our moments where he needs discipline, but there has been improvement. I think it will take Brett getting back home to see anymore improvement.

Cailey is going to be 22 months old on the 19th of this month. She has a lot to say. Mostly her wants and things she does not want. She is speaking sentences now, has been for a little while I guess. She learns more and more words, phrases, and expressions everyday it seems. The other day she was walking down the hall saying “where are you my bunny?” It was pretty cute.

Brett is still deployed and will be through the rest of this year and into the next. I don’t have an exact date, not that I could post any dates or locations of their travels on here anyway. See here if you want to know why. Also, if you plan on mailing anything else to him it is highly recommended that they be sent out by the end of this week to be sure he gets it before he leaves for home.

Thanksgiving was nice. We had dinner with our friends Will and Trista downstairs. They made a deep fried turkey and ham and a couple sides. Afterwards we hung out for a little bit then the kids and I went back home and the kids went to bed.

Our plans for Christmas is to open only a couple gifts and stockings and wait till Brett makes it home to open the rest of them. We have yet to decide on dinner plans, maybe a quiet evening at home. Well, maybe not quiet, LOL.

I am also in the process of adding some photos to the photos page tonight, so check back if they are not up yet.

One year ago today, I was woken with severe pain. The severe pain ended up confirming that I was pregnant. Not realizing the severity of what was happening at the time we spent the night at home and went to the hospital the next morning. It was an ectopic pregnancy. I passed one baby at home and another was removed with my fallopian tube by emergency surgery; I spent four days in a German hospital afterwards. I often think about that day, also about God never giving us more than we can handle. Would I have not been able to handle it? We should have four kids right now. Could I have handled it? Guess not.

Gerrit Hofsink - Still
The following excerpt is not my own words, but one from a youtube video featuring the song playing. They are, however, how I felt.

I didn’t know how to grieve, how to tell anyone, how to hold on to the memory of a baby I never got to hold. I didn’t have our babies’ remains for a funeral, and I wasn’t sure how to invite people when they were telling me to move on and try again as though my babies were not important.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is October 15. To read more about this day you can read the article at this site. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Website

Brett was the recipient of the Double Dagger Award, basically performer of the week. With everything he has been doing he has been deserving of it several times by now. For weeks it seemed as if he was always building something for someone, building tents, and he has also set up a LAN with games loaded on the computers for all to enjoy. This week he was able to troubleshoot both of the problems on their equipment and help get it fixed. Way to go Brett, we are all proud of you!!

I have not made a post in a while. I have been keeping busy, or at least trying to. I have made 4 dozen cupcakes for my sister’s bridal shower, made 3 little outfits for Cailey, a tutu for Cailey, made adjustments to one of my skirts, made myself a new skirt, & made 2 pillows for the kids.

Click on each photo to see them larger and to read the description!!

I usually will get to talk to Brett through online instant messaging daily, even if only for a couple minutes. He has been really busy with work, online classes, and his 7 level training. Its nice to be busy, but its exhausting him.

The kids are well. Colvin starts first grade tomorrow, and no he’s not excited, my impression is that to him its another day. We are working on riding bikes with no training wheels, we started today, and plan to continue through the week. Not sure how long it takes to teach something like that, he seems to do alright, so hopefully it won’t take long. We are also working on tying shoe laces, thats not going as well as bike riding.

Cailey, now 18 months old, is being her little self. She is enjoying the attention she is getting from everyone. She is learning well how to bat her eyes and smile pretty to try and get the attention she wants. She has an 18 month checkup next week, so we will see how much she has grown!

Well its been a long day, so I am signing off for now. Today we have been to Dariy Queen, two playgrounds, Walmart, Casey’s gas station to clean out the car and also the bike riding, that alone wore me out, LOL!

I am also uploading some photos in the July – December 2010 album for you to view as well!!

For those who were not aware Brett has deployed. He arrived in Afghanistan the other day. He has been really busy working 14 – 16 hours a day. He has no days off so he is doing this 7 days a week. He usually has Skype online, but he has bad internet connection there so most of the time we just message each other back and forth. My internet connection is not good either so I hope video chats will be better in the states. For those interested in contacting him his work hours 9:30 am – 9:30 pm central time.

Here is his address to send him packages:

Brett Schroder
73 EACS/SCMR
APO AE, 09347